VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA VOL1
From sound to inner silence
VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA VOL1
From sound to inner silence
21. SILENTLY INTONE A WORD ENDING IN "AH." THEN IN THE "HH," EFFORTLESSLY,
THE SPONTANEITY.
22. STOPPING EARS BY PRESSING AND THE RECTUM BY CONTRACTING, ENTER THE
SOUND.
23. ENTER THE SOUND OF YOUR NAME AND, THROUGH THIS SOUND, ALL SOUNDS.
Tantra is not a philosophy. Rather, it is a science with one difference:
science is objective, tantra is subjective. But still, it is a science and
not a philosophy. Philosophy thinks about the truth, the unknown, the
ultimate; science tries to discover what is. Science enters the immediate;
philosophy thinks of the ultimate. Philosophy is always looking toward the
sky; science is more down to earth.
Tantra is not concerned with the ultimate. It is concerned with the
immediate, the here and now. Tantra says, the ultimate is hidden in the
immediate, so you need not worry about the ultimate. By worrying about the
ultimate you will miss the immediate, and the ultimate is hidden in the
immediate. So by thinking about the ultimate you will miss both. If the
immediate should be missed, because of it you will miss the ultimate also.
So philosophy is just smoke. The approach of tantra is scientific, but the
OBJECT is different from that of so-called science.
Science tries to understand the object, the objective world, the reality
that is before your eyes. Tantra is the science of the reality that is
behind your eyes, the subjectivity, but the approach is scientific. Tantra
doesn't believe in thinking, it believes in experimenting, in experiencing.
And unless you can experience, everything is just a wastage of energy.
I am reminded of one incident. Mulla Nasruddin was crossing a street. Just
in front of a church he was knocked down by a hit-and-run driver. He was an
old man, and a crowd gathered. Someone was saying that "That man cannot
survive." The priest of the church ran out. He came near and he found out
that the old man was just going to die, so he prepared to administer the
last rites. He came near and asked the dying Mulla, "Do you believe in God
the Father? Do you believe in God the Son? Do you believe in God the Holy
Ghost?" Mulla opened his eyes and said, "My God! I am dying and he is asking
me puzzles!"
All philosophy is like this: it is asking puzzles while you are dying.
Every moment you are dying, every moment everyone is on his deathbed -
because death can occur at any moment. But philosophy goes on asking and
answering puzzles. Tantra says, it is good for children to philosophize but
those who are wise will not waste their time in philosophy. They should try
to know - not to think, because through thinking there is no knowledge.
Through thinking you go on webbing words, creating patterns of words. It
leads nowhere, you remain the same -- no transformation, no new insights.
The old man just goes on gathering dust.
Knowing is a different phenomenon. It does not mean "thinking about," it
means going deep into the existence itself in order to know, moving into the
existence. Remember this, that tantra is not a philosophy. It is science - a
subjective science. The approach is scientific and non-philosophic. It is
very down to earth, concerned with the immediate. The immediate is to be
used as a door to the ultimate, the ultimate happens if you enter the
immediate. It is there, and there is no other way to reach to it.
Philosophy is not a way in the eyes of tantra. It is a false way! It only
appears that this is a way. It is a door which is not; it simply appears to
be a door. It is a false door. The moment you try to enter it you come to
know that you cannot enter, it is just a painted door, there is no door in
reality. Philosophy is a painted door. If you sit by its side and go on
thinking and thinking, it is good. If you try to enter it, it is a wall.
So every philosophy is good for philosophizing. For experiencing, every
philosophy is impotent. That is why there is so much insistence on technique
in tantra - SO MUCH insistence on technique, because a science can do
nothing but give technology, whether of the outside world or of the inside.
The very word `tantra' means technique. The very word `tantra' MEANS
technique! That is why, in this small and yet one of the greatest and
deepest books, only techniques are given, no philosophy, just one hundred
and twelve techniques to reach the ultimate through the immediate.
The ninth technique concerning sound:
SILENTLY INTONE A WORD ENDING IN "AH." THEN IN THE "HH," EFFORTLESSLY, THE
SPONTANEITY.
SILENTLY INTONE A WORD ENDING IN "AH " Any word that ends in "AH" -- intone
it silently. Emphasis should be given to the ending "AH." Why? Because the
moment this sound "AH" is intoned, your breath goes out. You may not have
observed it, but now you can observe: whenever your breath goes out you are
more silent, and whenever your breath comes in you are more tense - because
the outgoing breath is death and the incoming breath is life. Tension is
part of life, not of death. Relaxation is part of death; death means total
relaxation. Life cannot be totally relaxed; it is impossible.
Life means tension, effort. Only death is relaxed. So whenever a person
becomes absolutely relaxed, he is both - alive outwardly and dead within.
You can see in the face of a buddha both life and death simultaneously. That
is why there is so much silence and calm, they are part of death. Life is
not relaxation. You relax in the night when you are asleep. That is why the
old traditions say that death and sleep are similar. Sleep is a temporary
death and death is permanent sleep. That is why night relaxes you, it is the
outgoing breath. The morning is the incoming breath.
The day makes you tense and the night relaxes you. Light makes you tense,
darkness relaxes you. That is why you cannot sleep when there is light, it
is difficult to relax because light is similar to life: it is anti-death.
Darkness is similar to death: it is pro-death.
So darkness has deep relaxation in it, and those who are afraid of darkness
cannot relax... impossible, because every relaxation is dark. And darkness
surrounds your life on both the sides. Before you are born you are in
darkness; when life ceases you are again in darkness. Darkness is infinite,
and this light and this life is just a moment in it, just a wave arising and
then falling back. If you can remember the darkness that surrounds both the
ends, you will be relaxed here and now.
Life, death - they both are two sides of existence. The incoming breath is
life, the outgoing breath is death. So it is not that you die someday, you
are dying with every breath. That is why the Hindus have been counting life
in breaths, they do not count life in years. Tantra, yoga, all the old
Indian systems, they count life in breaths: how many breaths you are going
to live. So they say if you breathe very fast, with too much breathing in a
short time, you will die very soon. If you breathe very slowly and your
breaths are less in an interval, you will live very long. And this is so.
If you go and observe animals, those animals whose breathing is very slow
live long. Take the elephant: the elephant lives long; the breath is very
slow. Then there is the dog: the dog dies soon; the breath is very fast.
Whenever you find an animal in which the breath is fast, any animal, the
animal will not have a long life. A long life is always with slow breath.
Tantra and yoga and other Indian systems count your life in breaths.
Really, with every breath you are born and with every breath you are dying.
This mantra, this technique, uses the outgoing breath as the method, the
medium, the vehicle, to go deep into silence. It is a death method. INTONE
SILENTLY A WORD ENDING IN "AH." The breath has gone -- that is why a word
ending in "AH."
This AH is meaningful because when you say AH it completely empties you.
The whole breath has moved out; nothing remains within. You are totally
empty - empty and dead. For a single moment, for a very small interval, life
has moved out of you. You are dead - empty. This emptiness, if realized, if
you can become aware of it, will change you completely. You will be a
different man.
Then you will know well that this life is not your life and this death is
also not your death. Then you will know something which is beyond the
incoming and outgoing breath - the witnessing soul. And this witnessing can
happen easily when you are empty of breath, because life has subsided and
with it all tensions have subsided. So try it, it is a very beautiful
method. But the ordinary process, the ordinary habit, is to emphasize the
incoming breath, never the outgoing breath.
We always take the breath in. We ALWAYS take it in, but we never throw it
out. We take it in and THE BODY throws it out. Observe your breathing and
you will know. We take it in. We never exhale, we only inhale. The exhaling
is done by the body because we are afraid of death, that is the reason. If
it was in our power we would not exhale at all, we would inhale and then
control it within. No one emphasizes exhaling -- inhaling is emphasized.
Because we HAVE to do exhaling after inhaling, that is why we go on
"suffering" it. We tolerate it because we cannot inhale without exhaling.
So exhaling is accepted as a necessary evil, but basically we are not
interested in exhaling. And this is not only about breath, this is our whole
attitude toward life. We cling to everything that comes to us; we will not
leave it. This is the miserliness of the mind.
And remember, there are many implications in it. If you are suffering from
constipation, this will be the basic cause: you always inhale and never
exhale. The mind which never exhales but just inhales will suffer from
constipation. The constipation is the other end of the same thing. He cannot
exhale anything, he goes on accumulating, he is afraid. The fear is there.
He can only accumulate, but anything that is accumulated becomes poisonous.
If you only inhale and do not exhale, your very breath becomes poison to
you; you will die because of it. You can turn a life-giving force into
poison if you behave in a miserly way, because the exhaling is absolutely
necessary. It throws all the poisons out of you.
So really, death is a purifying process and life is a poisoning process.
This will look paradoxical. Life is a poisoning process because to live you
have to use many things - and the moment you have used them they turn into
poison, they are converted into poisons. You take a breath in, you use
oxygen, and then what remains becomes poison. It was life only because it
was oxygen, but you have used it. So life goes on changing everything into a
poison.
Now there is a great movement in the West - ecology. Man has been using
everything and turning it into poison, and the very Earth is just on the
verge of dying. Any day it can die because we have turned everything into
poison. Death is a purifying process. When your whole body has become
poisonous, death will relieve you of the body. It will renew you, it will
give you a new birth; a new body will be given to you. Through death all the
accumulated poisons are dissolved back into nature. You are given a new
mechanism.
And this happens with every breath. The outgoing breath is similar to death
-- it takes poisons out. And when it is going out, everything ebbs within.
If you can throw the whole breath out, completely out so that no breath
remains within, you touch a point of silence that can never be touched while
the breath is in.
It is just like the ebb and tide: with every breath a tide of life comes to
you; with every exhalation, everything ebbs - the tide has gone. You are
just a vacant, empty shore. This is the use of this technique. SILENTLY
INTONE A WORD ENDING IN "AH." Emphasize the exhaling breath. And you can use
it for many changes in the mind. If you are suffering from constipation,
forget intaking. Just exhale and do not inhale. Let the body do the work of
inhaling; you just do the work of exhaling. You force the breath out and do
not inhale. The body will inhale by itself; you need not worry about it, you
are not going to die. The body will take breath in, you just throw it out
and let the body take it in. Your constipation will go.
If you are suffering from heart disease, just exhale, do not inhale. Then
you will not suffer from heart disease. If while just going upwards on a
staircase, or anywhere, you feel tired - very much tired, suffocated,
breathless - simply do this: just exhale, do not inhale. Then you can climb
up any amount of steps and you will not be tired. What happens? When you go
with an emphasis on exhaling, you are ready to let go, you are ready to die.
You are not afraid of death; that makes you open. Otherwise you are closed
-- fear closes you.
When you exhale, the whole system changes and accepts death. There is no
fear, you are ready to die. And one who is ready to die can live. Really,
only one who is ready to die can live. He alone becomes capable of life -
because he is not afraid.
One who accepts death, welcomes it, receives it as a guest, lives with it,
goes deep into life. Exhale, do not inhale, and that will change your total
mind. Because of simple techniques tantra never appeals, because we think,
"My mind is such a complex thing." It is not complex - just foolish. And
fools are very complex. A wise man is simple. Nothing is complex in your
mind, it is a very simple mechanism. If you understand, you can change it
very easily.
If you have not seen anybody dying, if you have been protected from seeing
death as Buddha was protected, you cannot understand anything about it.
Buddha's father was afraid because some astrologer said that "This boy is
going to be a great sannyasin. He will renounce the world." The father
asked, "What is to be done to protect him from doing such a thing?" So those
astrologers thought and thought, and then they concluded and they said, "Do
not allow him to see death, because if he is not aware of death he will
never think of renouncing life."
This is beautiful - very meaningful. That means all religion, all
philosophy, all tantra and yoga, is basically death-oriented. If you are
aware of death, only then does religion become meaningful. That is why no
animal except man is religious, because no animal is aware of death. They
die, but they are not aware. They cannot conceive or imagine that there is
going to be death.
When one dog dies, other dogs never imagine that death is going to happen
to them also. Always someone else dies, so how can a dog imagine that "I am
going to die"? He has never seen himself dying. Someone else, some other dog
dies, so how can he connect that "I am going to die"? No animal is aware of
death; that is why no animal renounces. No animal can become a sannyasin.
Only a very high quality of consciousness can lead you to renounce - when
you become aware of death. And if even by being a man you are not aware of
death, you belong to the animal kingdom; you are not yet a man. You become a
man only when you encounter death. Otherwise there is no difference between
you and the animal.
Everything is similar; only death makes the difference. With death
encountered, you are no more animal, something has happened to you which
never happens to an animal. Now you will be a different consciousness.
So Buddha's father protected him from seeing any type of death - not only
man's death, but the death of animals and even of flowers. So the gardeners
were instructed not to allow the child to see a dead flower, a pale flower
dying on the branch, a pale leaf, a dry leaf. No, nowhere should he come to
realize that something dies -- he may infer from it that "I am going to
die." And you do not infer it even seeing your wife dying, your mother, your
father, your child. You weep for them, but you never conceive that this is a
sign that "I am going to die."
But the astrologers said, "The boy is very, very sensitive, so protect him
from any type of death." And the father was over-conscientious He would not
allow even an old man or an old woman to be seen, because oldness is just
death heard from a distance; death is there from a distance, just coming. So
Buddha's father would not allow any old man or old woman to be seen by the
child. If Buddha suddenly became aware that just by stopping the breath a
man could die, it would be very difficult for him. "Just because no breath
is coming in, how can a man die?" he would wonder. "Life is such a big,
complex process."
If you have not seen anyone dying, even you cannot conceive that just by
stopping the breath a man will die. Just by stopping the breath? Such a
simple thing! And how can such a complex life die?
It is the same with these methods. They look simple, but they touch the
basic reality. When the breath is going out, when you are completely emptied
of life, you touch death: you are just near it, and everything becomes calm
and silent within you.
Use it as a mantra. Whenever you feel tired, whenever you feel tense, use
any word which ends in "AH." "Allah" will do - any word that brings your
total breath out so that you exhale completely and you are emptied of
breath. The moment you are emptied of breath you are emptied of life also.
And all your problems belong to life: no problem belongs to death. Your
anxiety, your anguish, your anger, your sadness, they all belong to life.
Death is non-problematic. Death never gives any problem to anyone. And even
if you think that "I am afraid of death and death creates a problem," it is
not death that creates the problem but your clinging to life. Only life
creates problems; death dissolves all problems. So when the breath has moved
completely out, "AH," you are emptied of life. Look within at that moment
when the breath is completely out. Before taking another breath in, go deep
down in that interval and become aware of the inside calm, the silence. In
that moment you are a buddha.
If you can catch that moment, you have known a taste of what Buddha might
have known. And once known, you can detach this taste from the
incoming-outgoing breath. Then the breath can go on coming in, going out,
and you can remain in that quality of consciousness that you have come to
know. It is always there; one has just to discover it. And it is easier to
discover when life is emptied out.
SILENTLY INTONE A WORD ENDING IN "AH." THEN IN THE "HH," EFFORTLESSLY, THE
SPONTANEITY. And when the breath goes out, "HH," everything is emptied.
EFFORTLESSLY: in this moment, there is no need to make any effort. The
SPONTANEITY: just be aware, be spontaneous, be sensitive, and realize this
moment of death.
In this moment you are just near the door, just near the door!- very, very
near to the ultimate. The immediate has moved out, the superfluous has moved
out. In this moment you are not the wave: you are the ocean - just near,
just near! If you can become aware you will forget that you are a wave.
Again the wave will come, but now you can never be identified with it, you
will remain the ocean. Once you have known that you are the ocean, you can
never again be the wave.
Life is waves... death is the ocean. That is why Buddha so much insists
about his NIRVANA that it is death-like. He never says you will attain life
immortal, he says you will simply die totally. Jesus says, "Come to me and I
will give you life, and life abundant." Buddha says, "Come to me to realize
your death. I will give you death totally." And both mean the same thing,
but Buddha's terminology is more basic. But you will become afraid of it.
That is why Buddha had no appeal in India; he was uprooted completely. And
we go on saying that this land is a religious land, but the most religious
person couldn't get roots here.
What type of religious land is this? We have not produced another Buddha;
he is incomparable. And whenever the world thinks India to be religious, the
world remembers Buddha - no one else. Because of Buddha, India is thought to
be religious. What type of religious land is this? Buddha has no roots here;
he was totally uprooted. He used the language of death - that is the cause,
and brahmins were using the language of life. They say THE BRAHMAN and he
says NIRVANA: `Brahman' means life -- life, infinite life; and `Nirvana'
means just cessation, death - total death.
Buddha says, "Your ordinary death is not total; you will be born again. It
is NOT total! You will be born again! I will give you a total death, and you
will never be born again." A total death means now no birth is possible. So
this so-called death, Buddha says, is not death. It is just a rest period,
you will become alive again. It is just a breath gone out. You will take the
breath in again, you will be reborn. Buddha says, "I will give you the way
so that the breath will go out and will never come in again - total death,
nirvana, cessation."
We become afraid because we cling to life. But this is the paradox: the
more you cling to life, the more you will die, and the more you are ready to
die, then the more you become deathless. If you are ready to die, then there
is no possibility of death. No one can give you death if you accept it,
because through that acceptance you become aware of something within you
which is deathless.
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This incoming breath and outgoing breath are the life and death of the
body, not of "me." But "I" do not know anything other than the body; "I" am
identified with the body. Then it will be difficult to be aware when the
breath comes in, easy to be aware when the breath goes out. When the breath
is going out, for that moment you have become old, dying, emptied completely
of the breath; you are dead for a moment.
IN THE "HH," EFFORTLESSLY, THE SPONTANEITY. Try it! Any moment you can try
it. Just riding in a bus or traveling in a train or moving to the office,
whenever you have time intone a sound like "Allah" - any sound ending with
"AH." This "Allah" helped so much in Islam - not because of any Allah there
in the sky, but because of this "AH." This word is beautiful. And then the
more one goes on using this word "Allah, Allah..." it becomes reduced. Then
what remains is "Lah, Lah..." Then it is reduced further; then it remains as
"Ah, Ah..." It is good, but you can use any word that ends in "AH" - or just
"AH" will do.
Have you observed that whenever you are tense you will sigh -- "AH" -- and
you will feel relaxed. Or whenever you are in joy, overjoyed, you say "AH,"
and the whole breath is thrown out and you feel within a tranquility that
you have never felt. Try this: when you are feeling very good, take the
breath in and then see what you feel. You cannot feel that well-being that
comes with "AH." It is coming because of the breath.
So languages differ, but these two things never differ. All over the world,
whenever someone feels tired he will say "AH." Really, he is calling for
death to come and relax him. Whenever one feels overjoyed, blissful, he says
"AH." He is so overfilled with joy that he is not afraid of death now. He
can relieve himself completely, relax completely.
And what will happen if you go on trying it, trying it? You will become
fully aware of something within you - the spontaneousness of your being; of
SAHAJ of being spontaneous. That you are already, but you are too much
engaged with life, too much occupied with life. You cannot become aware of
the being which is behind.
When you are not occupied with life, with the incoming breath, the being
behind is revealed; there is a glimpse. But the glimpse will become, by and
by, a realization. And once it is known you cannot forget it - and this is
not something which you are creating. That is why it is spontaneous: it is
not something you are creating. It is there, you have simply forgotten. It
is a remembrance! It is a rediscovery!
Try to see children, very small children, taking their breaths. They take
them in a different way. Look at a child sleeping. His belly comes up and
down, not the chest. If you are sleeping and you are being observed, your
chest comes up and down; your breath never goes down to the belly. The
breath can go down to the belly only if you exhale and do not inhale. If you
inhale and do not exhale, the breath cannot go down to the belly. The reason
why breath goes to the belly is that when one exhales, the whole breath is
thrown out and then the BODY takes it in. And the body takes only that
amount which is needed -- never more, never less.
The body has its own wisdom, and it is more wise than you. Do not disturb
it. You can take more -- then it will be disturbed. You can take less --
then it will be disturbed. The body has its own wisdom, it only takes that
amount which is needed. When more is needed, it creates the situation. When
less is needed, it creates the situation. It never goes to the extreme, it
is always balanced. But if YOU inhale it is never balanced, because you do
not know what you are doing, you do not know what is the need of the body.
And the need changes every moment.
Allow the body! You just exhale, you just throw it out, and then the body
will take breath in - and it will take it deeply and slowly, and the breath
will go down to the belly. It will hit the navel point exactly and your
belly will go up and down. If you inhale then really, you never exhale
totally. Then the breath is in and you go on inhaling, so the breath which
is already in will not allow your breath to go down to the very bottom. Then
just shallow breathing happens. You go on taking breath in, and the
poisonous breath is there, filling you up.
They say that you have six thousand sacs in your lungs and only two
thousand are touched by your breath. The four thousand are always filled
with poisonous gases which need to be exhaled, and that two-thirds portion
of your chest creates much anxiety, much anguish and misery in the mind, in
the body. A child exhales, he never inhales. Inhaling is done by the body
itself.
When the child is born, the first thing he is going to do is cry. With that
cry his throat opens, with that cry comes the first "AH." The oxygen and air
that had been given by the mother is exhaled. This is his first effort with
breathing. That is why if a child is not crying, then the doctor will become
uneasy, because he has not shown the sign of life. He still feels dependent
on the mother. He must cry! That cry shows that now he is becoming an
individual; the mother is not needed, he will take his own breath. And the
first thing is that he is going to cry in order to exhale that which was
given by the mother, and then his body will start functioning, inhaling.
A child is always exhaling, and when the child starts inhaling, when the
emphasis moves to inhaling, be aware. He has already become old; he has
learned things from you. He has become tense. Whenever you are tense, you
cannot take a deep breath. Why? Your stomach becomes rigid. Whenever you are
tense your stomach becomes rigid, it won't allow breath to go down. Then you
have to take shallow breaths.
Try with "AH." It has a beautiful feeling around it. Whenever you feel
tired, "AH" -- throw the breath. And make it a point to emphasize exhaling.
You will be a different man, and a different mind will evolve. With the
emphasis on breathing in, you have developed a miser mind and a miser body.
With exhaling, that miserliness will disappear and with it many problems.
Possessiveness will disappear.
So tantra will not say leave possessiveness. Tantra says, change your
system of breathing; you cannot possess then. Observe your own breathing and
your moods, and you will become aware. Whatsoever is wrong is always
associated with the emphasis that is given to the incoming breath and
whatsoever is good, virtuous, beautiful, true, is always associated with
exhaling. Whenever you are speaking a lie, you will hold your breath in.
Whenever you speak truth, you never hold the breath. You fear that "I am
speaking a lie," so you hold the breath. You are afraid something may go out
with it - the out-moving breath. Your hidden truth may be revealed, so you
are afraid.
Go on trying this "AH" more and more. You will be more healthy in body,
more healthy in mind, and a different quality of calm, at-easeness,
tranquillity will develop.
The tenth sound method:
STOPPING EARS BY PRESSING AND RECTUM BY CONTRACTING, ENTER THE SOUND.
We are not aware of the body even or how the body functions and what is its
tao, what is its way. But if you observe, then you can become very easily
aware. If you stop your ears and pull your rectum up, contract your rectum,
everything will stop for you. It will be as if the whole world has become
non-moving - as if everything has become static, stopped. Not only
movements, you will feel as if time has stopped.
What happens when you pull the rectum up, contract it? What happens? When
both the ears are closed simultaneously, with closed ears you will hear a
sound within. But if the rectum is not pulled up, that sound is released by
the rectum. That sound is very subtle. If the rectum is pulled up,
contracted, and the ears are closed, you will see within you a pillar of
sound - and that sound is of silence. It is a negative sound. When all
sounds have ceased, then you feel the sound of silence or the sound of
soundlessness. But it will be released from the rectum.
So close the ears and pull the rectum up. Then you are closed from both the
sides, and your body becomes closed and just filled with sound. This feeling
of being filled with sound gives a deep fulfillment. So we will have to
understand many things around it, only then will it become possible for you
to have the feeling of what happens.
We are not aware of the body -- that is one of the basic problems for a
seeker. And the society is against becoming aware of the body because
society is afraid of the body. So we train every child not to be aware of
the body, we make every child insensitive. We create a distance between the
child's mind and body, so he is not very much aware of the body, because
body awareness will create problems for the society.
Many things are implied. If the child is aware of the body, he will become
aware of sex sooner or later. And if he is too much aware of the body, he
will feel too much sexual, sensuous. So we have to kill the very root. He
should be "made dull" about his body, insensitive, so he never feels it. You
do not feel your body. You feel it only when something wrong happens, when
something goes wrong.
You have a headache in the head, then you feel your head. Some thorn is
there, then you feel your leg, your feet. When your body aches, you feel
that you have a body. You feel it only when something goes wrong, and then
too not right away. You are never aware of your diseases immediately. You
become aware only when a period has passed and when the disease goes on
knocking at your consciousness that, "I am here." Only then do you become
aware. So no one really goes to the doctor in time. Everyone reaches there
late, when the disease has entered deep and has done much wrong.
If a child has grown up with sensitivity he will become aware of the
disease even before the disease happens. And now, in Russia particularly,
they are working on the theory that a disease can be known even six months
before its happening if someone is very deeply sensitive about his body,
because subtle changes start long in advance. They prepare the body for the
disease. The impact is felt even six months before.
But never mind disease, we never become aware even of death! If you are
going to die tomorrow, you are not aware even today. A thing like death
which may happen the next moment, and you are not aware this moment. You are
totally dead to your body, insensitive. This whole society, the whole
culture up to now, creates this dullness, this deadness, because it has been
against the body. You are not allowed to feel it. Only in accidents can you
be pardoned, forgiven for being aware of it; otherwise "do not be aware of
the body."
This creates many problems, particularly for tantra, because tantra
believes in deep sensitivity and knowledge of the body. You go on moving and
your body goes on doing many things and you are unaware. Now much work is
being done on body language. The body has its own language, and
psychiatrists and psychologists and psychoanalysts in particular are being
trained for body language, because they say you cannot believe the modern
man. Whatsoever he says cannot be believed. Rather, one must observe his
body, that will give a more true clue.
A man enters a psychiatrist's office. The old psychiatry, Freudian
psychoanalysis, will talk and talk with the man to bring out whatsoever is
hidden in his mind. Modern psychiatry will observe his body because that
gives clues. If a man is an egoist, if ego is his problem, he stands in a
different way than a humble man. His neck has a different angle than a
humble man, his spine is not flexible but dead, fixed. He looks wooden, not
alive. If you touch his body it has a wooden feeling, not the warmth of a
living body. He is like a soldier just moving to the front.
Look at the soldier moving to the front. He has a wooden shape, a wooden
feeling, and that is needed by a soldier because he is going to die or to
kill. He must not be much aware of the body, so his whole training is to
create a wooden body. Soldiers marching look like toys, like dead toys
marching.
If you are humble you have a different body; you sit differently you stand
differently. If you feel inferior, you stand differently; if you feel
superior you stand differently. If you are always in fear, you stand in such
a way as if you are protecting yourself from some unknown force. That is
always there. If you are not afraid, you are just like a child playing with
his mother; there is no fear. Wherever you go you are unafraid, at home with
the universe around you. The man who is afraid is armored. And when I say
armored it is not only symbolically, physiologically he is armored.
Wilhelm Reich was working very much on body structure, and he came to see
some deep associations between mind and body. If a man is afraid, his
stomach is not flexible. You touch his stomach and it is like a stone. If he
becomes fearless, his stomach relaxes immediately. Or if you relax the
stomach, then the fear disappears. Massage the stomach to relax, and you
will feel more fearless, less afraid.
A person who is loving has a different quality of body and warmth -- he is
warm bodily. A person who is not loving is cold, physiologically he is cold.
Cold and other things have moved into your body and they have become
barriers, they do not allow you to know about your body. But the body goes
on working in its own way and you go on working in your own way -- a rift is
created. That rift has to be broken.
I have seen that if someone is suppressive, if you have suppressed your
anger, then your fingers, your hands, have the sensation of a suppressed
anger. And a person who knows how to feel it can feel just by touching your
hand that you have suppressed anger. And why in the hand? Because anger has
to be released by the hands. If you have suppressed anger then in your
teeth, in your gums, it is suppressed - and it can be felt by touching. It
gives a vibration that "I am suppressed here."
If you have suppressed sex, then in your erotic zones it is there. If a
person has suppressed sex, then if you touch his erotic zones you can feel
it. With any erotic zone touched, sex is there if it has been suppressed.
The zone will become afraid and will withdraw from your touch, it will not
be open. Because the person inside is withdrawing, the part of the body will
withdraw. It will not allow you to bring about an opening.
Now they say that fifty percent of women are frigid, and the reason is
because we teach girls to be more suppressive than boys. So they have
suppressed, and when a girl suppresses her sexual feelings up to the age of
twenty, it has become a long habit - twenty years of suppression. Then when
she will love, she will talk about love, but her body will not be open; the
body will be closed. And then an opposite, a diametrically opposite
phenomenon happens: two currents oppose each other. She wants to love but
her body is repressive, the body withdraws; it is not ready to come closer.
If you see a woman sitting with a man, if the woman loves the man she will
be inclining toward him, the body will be inclining. If they are sitting on
a sofa, both of their bodies will be inclining toward each other. They are
not aware, but you can see it. If the woman is afraid of the man, her body
will be inclining to the opposite direction. If a woman loves a man she will
never cross her legs when sitting near him. If she is afraid of the man she
will cross her legs. She is not aware; this is not done consciously. It is
body armor. The body protects itself and works in its own ways.
Tantra became aware of this phenomenon; the first awareness of such deep
body feeling, sensitivity, was with tantra. And tantra says that if you can
use your body consciously, the body becomes the vehicle to move to the
spirit. Tantra says, it is foolish, absolutely idiotic, to be against the
body. Use it! It is a vehicle! And use its energy in such a way that you can
go beyond it.
Now, STOPPING EARS BY PRESSING AND RECTUM BY CONTRACTING, ENTER THE SOUND.
Many times you have been contracting the rectum and sometimes the rectum is
released even without your consciousness. If you suddenly become afraid, the
rectum is released. You may defecate in fear, you may urinate in fear. Then
you cannot control it. If a sudden fear grips you, your bladder will relax,
your rectum will relax. What happens? In fear, what happens? Fear is a
mental thing, so why do you urinate in fear? Why is the control lost? There
must be some deep connecting root.
Fear happens in the head, in the mind. When you are unafraid this never
happens. The child really has no mental control over his body. No animal
controls his urine, bladder or anything. Whenever the bladder is full it is
released. No animal controls it, but man has to control it of necessity. So
we force a child to control when he should go to the bathroom and when not.
We tell him he has to control; we give timings. So the mind takes over the
control of a function which is non-voluntary. That is why it is so difficult
to train the child for the toilet. And now psychologists say that if we stop
toilet training, humanity will very much improve.
Toilet training is the first repression of the child and its natural
spontaneity, but it seems difficult to listen to these psychologists. We
cannot listen to them because then the children will create many problems.
We have to train them of necessity. Only a very, very rich, affluent society
will be able not to bother. Poor societies have to manage. We cannot afford
it. If the child urinates anywhere, we cannot afford it. If he urinates on
the sofa we cannot afford it, so we have to train. This training is mental.
The body really has no built-in program for it. The body has NO built-in
program for it!
Man is an animal as far as body is concerned, and the body knows no
culture, no society. That is why when you are in deep fear, the control
mechanism that you have imposed on the body is relaxed. You are not in
control; you are thrown off control. You can control only in normal
conditions. In emergencies you cannot control because for emergencies you
have never been trained. You have only been trained for the normal,
day-to-day, routine world. In an emergency the control is lost, your body
starts functioning in its own animal way. But one relationship can be
understood, that with a fearless man this will never happen. So this has
become a sign of a coward.
If in fear you urinate or defecate, this shows you are a coward. A fearless
man will not behave in this way, because a fearless man is taking deep
breaths. His body and his breathing system are related; there is no gap.
With a man who is a coward there is a gap, and because of that gap he is
always overburdened with urine and defecation. So whenever an emergency
comes, that overburdenedness has to be thrown: he has to be unburdened. And
it has a reason in nature. A coward who is unburdened can escape more easily
with his stomach relaxed, can run more easily. A burdened stomach will
become a hindrance, so it is helpful for a coward to be relaxed.
Why am I talking about this? I am just saying this, that you have to be
aware of your mental processes and your stomach processes; they are deeply
related. Psychologists say that fifty to ninety percent of your dreams are
because of your stomach processes. If you have taken a very heavy meal you
are bound to see nightmares. They are not related with the mind, it is just
that the heavy stomach creates them.
Many dreams can be created by outside tricks. If you are sleeping, your
hands can be crossed on your chest and immediately you will start dreaming
some nightmare. A pillow can be put on your chest and you will dream that
some demon is sitting on your chest just going to kill you. And this has
been one of the problems. Why is there such a burden from the small weight
of a pillow? If you are awake, there is no weight; you do not feel anything
heavy. But why is it that a small pillow placed on you in the night when you
are sleeping is felt as being so heavy that it is as if you have been
burdened with a big stone or a rock? Why is so much weight felt?
The reason is this: when you are aware, when you are awake, your mind and
body are not correlated; the gap is there. You cannot feel the body and its
sensitivity. While asleep, the control, the culture, the conditioning,
dissolves; you have again become a child and your body has become sensitive.
Because of that sensitivity, a small pillow is felt as a rock. It is
magnified because of sensitivity -- the sensitivity magnifies it. So
body-mind processes are deeply related, and if you know what happens you can
use this.
Rectum closed, pulled upwards, contracted, creates a situation in the body
in which sound can be felt if present. You will feel a pillar of sound in
silence within the closed space in your body. Close the ears and pull up the
rectum, and then just remain with what is happening inside you. Just remain
in that vacant state which is created by these two things. Your life energy
is moving within and it has no way to go out. Sound goes out either from
your ears or from your rectum. Those are the two doors from where the sound
can move out. If is not moving out, you can feel it more easily.
And what will happen when you feel this inner sound? With the very
phenomenon of hearing the inner sound, your thoughts dissolve. Just try it
anytime during the day: just pull up the rectum and put your fingers in the
ears. Press the ears and pull up the rectum. You will feel that your mind
has stopped. It will not be functioning; thoughts will have stopped. That
constant flow of thoughts is not there. It is good! And if one goes on doing
it whenever there is time, in the day if you can do it for five or six
times, within three or four months you will become an expert in it. And then
such a well-being flows out of it!
And the inner sound, once heard, remains with you. Then you can hear it the
whole day. The market is noisy, the road is noisy, the traffic is noisy, but
if even in that noise you have heard the inner sound, you will feel the
still small voice that goes on inside. And then nothing will disturb you. If
you can feel your inner sound, then nothing from the outside can disturb
you. You remain silent; whatsoever happens around you makes no difference.
The last sound technique:
ENTER THE SOUND OF YOUR NAME AND, THROUGH THIS SOUND, ALL SOUNDS.
Your own name can be used as a mantra very easily, and it is very helpful
because your name has gone very deep into your unconscious. Nothing else has
gone so deep. If we are all are sitting here, and we all fall asleep and
someone comes and calls "Ram," no one will listen except the person whose
name is Ram. He will listen to it; he will be disturbed in his sleep. No one
else will listen to the sound "Ram," but why does this man listen? It has
gone down deep; it is not conscious now, it has become unconscious.
Your name has gone very deep within you, but there is a very beautiful
phenomenon about your name: you never call it, others call it. Others use
it; you never use it.
I have heard that in the first world war, for the first time in America
rationing was created. Thomas Edison was a very great scientist, but he was
very poor so he had to stand in the queue for his ration card. And he was
such a great man that no one ever used his name before him. There was no
need to use his name for himself, and no one else would use his name because
he was so much respected. Everyone would call him Professor, so he had
forgotten what was his name.
He was standing in the queue, and when his name was called, when it was
asked who Thomas Alva Edison was, he just stared blankly. Again the name was
called, then someone who was a neighbor to Edison said to him, "Why are you
standing? Your name is being called. It is your name, Professor." Then he
became aware and he said, "But how can I recognize it? No one calls me
Edison. It has been so long... they just call me Professor."
You never use your own name. Only others use it -- you have heard it used
by others. But it has gone deep, very deep. It has penetrated like an arrow
into your unconscious. If you yourself use it, then it becomes a mantra. And
for two reasons it helps: one, when you use your own name, if your name is
"Ram" and you use "Ram, Ram, Ram...", suddenly you feel as if you are using
someone else's name - as if it is not yours. Or if you feel that this IS
yours, you feel that there is a separate entity within you which is using
it. It may belong to the body, it may belong to the mind, but he who is
calling "Ram, Ram..." becomes a witness.
You have always called others' names. When you call your own name it looks
as if it belongs to someone else, not to you, and it is a very revealing
phenomenon. You can become a witness to your own name, and with the name
your whole life is involved. Separated from the name, you are separated from
your whole life. And this name has penetrated deep within you because
everyone has called you this from your very birth, you have always heard
this. So use this sound, and with this sound you can go to the very depths
to which the name has gone.
In the old days we gave everyone a name of God - everyone. Someone was Ram,
someone was Narayan, someone was Krishna, someone was Vishnu, or something
like that. They say all the Mohammedan names are the names of God - ALL the
Mohammedan names! And all over the world that was the practice, to give a
name which is really a name of God.
This was for good reasons. One reason was this technique -- because if your
name can be used as a mantra it will serve you a double purpose. It will be
YOUR name - and you have heard it so much, so many times, and all your life
it has penetrated deep. Then also, it is the name of God. So go on repeating
it inside, and suddenly you will become aware that "This name is different
from me." Then by and by this name will have a sanctity of its own. You will
remember any day that "Narayan" or "Ram," this is God's name. Your name has
turned into a mantra.
Use it! This is very good! You can try many things with your name. If you
want to be awakened at five o'clock in the morning, no alarm is so exact as
your own name. Just repeat thrice inside, "Ram, you have to be awake by five
o'clock sharp." Repeat it three times, and then just fall asleep. You will
be awakened at five o'clock because "Ram," YOUR name, is very deep in the
unconscious.
Call your name and tell yourself that "At five o'clock in the morning, let
me be awakened." Someone WILL awaken you. And if you continue this practice,
one day you will suddenly realize that at five o'clock someone calls you and
says, "Ram, be awake." That is your unconscious calling you.
This technique says, ENTER THE SOUND OF YOUR NAME AND, THROUGH THIS SOUND,
ALL SOUNDS. Your name becomes just a door for all names. But enter the
sound. First, when you repeat "Ram, Ram, Ram..." it is just a word. But it
means something when you go on repeating "Ram, Ram, Ram..."
You must have heard the story of Valmiki. He was given this mantra "Ram,"
but he was an ignorant man - uneducated, simple, innocent, childlike. He
started repeating "Ram, Ram, Ram..." but he was repeating so much that he
forgot completely and reversed the whole thing. Instead he was chanting
"Mara, Mara..." He was chanting "Ram, Ram, Ram..." so fast that it became
"Mara, Mara, Mara..." And he achieved the goal through "Mara, Mara, mara..."
If you go on repeating the name fast inside, soon it will not be a word: it
will become a sound, just meaningless. And then there is no difference
between Ram and Mara - no difference! Whether you call Ram or Mara, it makes
no sense, they are not words. It is just the sound, just the sound that
matters. Enter the sound of your name. Forget the meaning of it, just enter
the sound. Meaning is with the mind, sound is with the body. Meaning is in
the head, sound spreads all over the body. So forget the meaning. Just
repeat it as a meaningless sound, and through this sound you will enter all
sounds. This sound will become the door to all sounds. And "all sounds"
means all that exists.
This is one of the basic tenets of Indian inner search, that the basic unit
of the existence is sound and not electricity. Modern science says that the
basic unit of the existence is electricity, not sound, but they also say
that sound is a form of electricity. Indians, however, have always been
saying that electricity is nothing but a form of sound.
You may have heard that through a particular RAGA, a particular sound, fire
can be created. It can be created - because this is the Indian idea, that
sound is the basis of all electricity. So if you hit sound in a particular
frequency, electricity will be created.
On long bridges, if a military, is passing, they are not allowed to march
because many times it has happened that because of their march the bridge
falls. It is because of sound, not because of their weight. They will be
passing anyhow, but if they pass marching, then the particular sound of
their feet breaks the bridge.
In old Hebrew history, the city of Jericho was very protected by great
walls and it was impossible to break those walls by guns. But through a
particular sound the walls were broken, and that sound was the secret of the
breaking of those walls. If that sound is created before walls, the walls
will give way.
You have heard the story of Ali Baba: a particular sound and the rock
moves. These are allegories. Whether they are right or not, one thing is
certain: if you can create a particular sound so continuously that meaning
is lost, mind is lost, the rock at your heart will be removed.
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